Enab Baladi – Ali Darwish
Mohammed (32 years old) arrived in Europe in 2015, amid the massive waves of migration at that time, transitioning to a new life that began with learning the language, continuing his university education, and integrating into the workforce to secure the remaining financial needs.
Mohammed married eight years after arriving in Europe, hosting a wedding where he invited relatives and friends from various European countries despite the high costs.
Mohammed could have limited it to a small gathering of close relatives, as he told Enab Baladi, but his family wanted to celebrate the first marriage of one of their children with the same customs and traditions they had in Syria.
One of these traditions includes inviting relatives living in Europe, booking two wedding halls—one for men and one for women—and organizing a feast and a party featuring a musical band and a popular singer.
A wedding in Syria would be preceded by preparations from the couple’s families, including hospitality, food, and the wedding venue, whether the event includes religious chanting bands or music and singing. Some weddings were limited to a feast where relatives and friends were invited with a small gathering of the groom’s friends.
“The joy of a lifetime”
Hassan, a young Syrian living in Germany, told Enab Baladi that a young man in Europe is far from his family, but ultimately wants to hold his wedding and share his joy with friends and relatives, adding, “It remains the joy of a lifetime.”
Hassan invited people residing in Germany and various EU countries to his wedding, communicating with them through various means. Those who did not have his number asked for it from a mutual friend and called him.
Hassan also designed an invitation card and posted it on his social media accounts, and “those who could, accepted the invitation,” as he put it.
In Hassan’s hometown in Syria, wedding invitations were extended to other families in the town, and individuals and families from other villages and towns. Relatives of the groom (his uncles and their children) did not receive invitations as the celebration was considered shared among them, and it was obligatory for them to attend without an invitation.
Differences in some customs and traditions are also linked to prevalent customs in Syrian regions, whether tribal, rural, or urban. However, generally, the main traditions of inviting relatives and friends and preparing a feast are still preserved in Europe.
Social specialist Dr. Mahmoud al-Hussein, residing in Germany, told Enab Baladi that “social communication is very important and strengthens ties between communities.”
Looking at Eastern societies in general and Arab societies in particular, these customs are deeply rooted in celebrations, holding large parties, especially in tribal communities where the number of acquaintances and relatives is large.
In terms of social cohesion, a large number of people participate in celebrations and condolences, some traveling from other villages or cities, and “it is a social custom we are accustomed to in our community regardless of its positives and negatives,” according to al-Hussein.
The monetary gift or “shobash” also plays a role in social solidarity, covering part of the wedding costs as friends and relatives give money to the groom or his family.
Varying costs
The costs of weddings vary depending on the arrangements, venue, and guests, and whether there is a musical band or not.
Enab Baladi contacted young men who married last year in Germany to find out the average costs for a youth wedding.
For halls, some small ones are affiliated with cultural centers, with a one-day rent reaching around 400 euros, and booking a restaurant or café costing about 1500 euros depending on the location and size of the restaurant.
If the number of attendees is large, this requires booking one hall for men and another for women, costing up to 5000 euros if the event is on weekdays, with the cost rising by 30 to 50% on holidays.
As for the musical band, each member gets a specific amount, with the keyboardist receiving 1500 euros, the drummer 300 euros, the singer between 1500 and 2000 euros, and photography in both men’s and women’s halls with a DJ in the women’s hall costing 2500 euros, excluding costs for food and hospitality.
Exaggeration
Specialist Mahmoud al-Hussein believes there is some exaggeration in holding some wedding parties, involving some “useless extravagance and social showing off, which leads to wasting money and effort without benefit.”
Al-Hussein mentioned that extravagance existed in parties in Syria under normal circumstances, but after asylum and migration, conditions changed, and thus “we must refine and trim our customs or keep them to a limited scope when social and economic conditions change.”
He added that initially, those arriving in Europe relied on allowances provided by the host countries, with economic behaviors such as extravagant weddings or riding luxurious cars being monitored by the host communities.
The specialist stated that marriage is a sacred bond, and other matters are superficial and non-essential. Parties are a social custom found in certain conditions, sometimes accompanied by a lack of awareness, “so I believe they should be canceled, replaced, or held minimally among close relatives.”
Waves of Syrian refugees to Europe have continued since 2012, peaking in 2015 when Germany adopted an “open-door” policy to receive as many refugees as possible.
Over the years, young people have been the largest group among Syrian refugees, especially after the agreement signed between Turkey and the European Union in March 2016, which stipulated Turkey closing its borders to refugees.
Children, women, and the elderly found it increasingly difficult to take land and sea routes, raising the proportion of young people among the refugees.
After arriving in Europe, they learn the language, study, or undergo vocational training before starting to work, receiving monthly aids from the host country.
In 2021, 117,000 Syrians applied for asylum in Europe. In 2022, the number was 132,000, and in 2023, the number of asylum applications from Syrians in Germany alone reached 104,651.